People love holiday bullshit.
I'm talking eyes rolling back in their head, veins bulging, 19 exclamation points "loooooooooooooooooooove" it.
Have you seen what happens at Pottery Barn when they release that yearly catalog (in like, August) with a cover shot of a mildly cute kid with rosy cheeks catching a damn snowflake on her tongue? Holiday-bullshit starved shoppers across America open their mailbox, take one glance at that catalog and white-smoke their tires on the way to the mall to go buy all the sterling silver decorative pine cones they can grab. Thousands of Toyota Siennas being driven like they were just stolen by felons who just escaped and are "not going back."
So even though it's November and half of the retailers around you have been slinging their clove and allspice-studded Jingle Bells horsehockey for like 2 months already, we're going to hook you up with some quality holiday bullshit.